This endeavor started off with sharing and exploring all of my creative pursuits...retiring to open my beautiful art studio and sharing art throughout my community.
In 2026, my world collapsed around me...imploding after the suicide of my husband. I lost my business, my home, my friends, my community, my livelihood...with a move from Canton, Ohio to Seattle, Washington to be near two of my children and grandchildren. At 56 years old I am literally starting completely over.
I am trying to find myself because I don't know who I am now. I am not the same person. I am struggling to make art out of my broken spirit and heart. I am navigating how to work through everything new, from where I live, what I do and more. In the middle of it all, I hope I can find a glimmer of light.
Grief doesn’t politely wait for your schedule to clear, and neither does real life. I’m back after taking a week off to host one of my best friends, exploring Seattle and the surrounding areas while I’m still learning what “home” even means here. That time filled me up, but I’m also honest about what hit hard right after: a heavy EMDR therapy session that took days to shake off, and the choice to slow down instead of performing productivity.
From there, the story turns toward the things that help me rejoin the world. Volunteering gave me a few hours of relief and reminded me why community matters so much to my mental health. I talk about trying to find the right spaces to belong, considering a job to meet more people, and navigating the rental search. One landlord even wanted to come inspect my current place because I have a pet, and that moment turned into a real-time lesson in boundaries and trusting your gut.
Creatively, I’m leaning into small projects that keep me moving. I share what I’m making for a mini art call for entry, how local birds and Pacific Northwest nature are feeding new mixed media ideas, and why I love letting a theme snowball from a simple prompt into a full collection. I also give an update on my nostalgic Halloween design releases for mahjong mats, the surprising wave of orders, and what it means when manufacturing has to pause because demand outpaces production.
The heart of it all is this: life can be horrible and hopeful at the same time, and I’m learning to let art hold both. If you’re rebuilding after loss, relocating, or trying to make creativity feel healing again, come spend a few minutes with me. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show.
Hello everyone, welcome back to a new episode of Bruttifully Made. Um, I took a week off. Uh, I had a visitor, one of my best friends came from Ohio. Uh, Rachel came to visit for 10 days, and so uh we explored Seattle and all the surrounding areas that I kind of knew and were getting to know and learning how to navigate. So it was so much fun, and I was so happy to have her here, and I hope she had a good time. It's uh it's still new to me, this area. So I'm still exploring myself. So I uh I still just really enjoyed her company and we had a great time, and the kids got to we know, got to go to dinner together, and uh yeah, so I didn't get to record because I had a guest, but uh am back this week, and uh I know it's a couple of days I used to always record on Fridays, uh kind of went to Wednesdays.
Uh those are those are my counseling session days, and so uh this week was a really tough one. Um I had an EMDR, I think that's correct, session, and it was uh pretty heavy. That that was a lot. Took me a couple days to get settled from that. And um, I have a wonderful uh counselor, a therapist, you know, call calling and texting, checking on me, and um but I needed to, you know, not record on Wednesday because it was just I actually went out in the community and volunteered uh later that night. I needed to get my head space in something that did not have anything to do with me, and I was able to spend a couple hours helping, and that made me feel a lot better. Um, that was one of the things that I always loved about my uh art studio art gallery. I loved having the area to share with the community. I had a lot of people come in and use the space for their clubs and their organizations. Uh and but then I got to, you know, teach and be with people that wanted to have a place to, you know, vent and relax. And that was just a wonderful opportunity to provide that. And I miss it. I miss it a lot. So um it was really nice to focus on other people and what they needed and meet new people. Uh, the gals that invited me, I met them at an art, um, I guess it was like an art show, art event. Uh, and they were teachers, they're teachers in the area and they uh were sewing. And I purchased a couple pieces from them. I recognized the fabric they were using and just we kind of clicked and it was so cool. And they invited me over uh to do this, they do it um this different volunteering in the area every week. And so I went and I'm glad that I did. And um I needed that, I needed that space. It's um really important for me to be part of the community, and I'm trying to find the right spaces to do that in. And so I just really enjoyed having that chance to do that.
Um, it also spurred me into maybe looking for a job, something to do uh, you know, with my time to uh get to know more people in the community. There's some really cool places around here to work, and um, I've applied, I have an interview next week for one. Um, but it's um really neat to see all the things that I can do and use my talents and interests and grow as a person and as a community member. So I'm really excited about that. Um, been looking at a lot of places to try to settle down and find a place uh to rent. And um that's been interesting. That has uh spurred some kind of questions that I wasn't expecting. Uh one landlord wanted to come over to where I live now to see where I lived because I have a pet and he wanted to guarantee that I took care of my pet. And I was like, nope, that ain't happening. I thought that was a very odd request. Um, I'm like, I will do a video with you so you could see, but no, I'm not, you're not coming over. Has that ever happened to you? Is that a normal request? That was so weird. Um, but yeah, I said no. Um, so yeah, uh navigating that new territory uh here in the area and um gonna submit some artwork to a little call
for art. And I say little because it actually is mini art, and y'all know how much I love mini art. So I got these cute little mini uh mixed media postcards, and I'm going to do um, I was doing I did some painting on them for a pattern I was making that I made kind of in honor of Dolly Parton and my kiddos because they were here one day trying on all of the shoes and stuff that I have out, and they just look so cute in the oversized shoes, and it just reminded me of little girls, you know, dressing up and filling Dolly Parton's big shoes. She's got, you know, since she's gone, her heart was so big and she's got some big shoes to fill. And I just kind of like merged them together and did all these little cowgirl boots and stuff, and it turned into a really cute collection of uh Christmas patterns. And um, it was also perfect because it was in response to a challenge from Margot Tantel from Tantel Studios. Um, y'all know I love her and her windowsill chats, and I'm part of the foundry, and that was a challenge. And I submitted it for that challenge, and then it turned into a um fair exclusive matte design and tile designs for my fair community. Um, just kind of like snowballed into some stuff. So I I love these little postcards because I'm going to do mixed media on them and then submit them for um this art show. Um, and they're gonna be inspired by some of the things that I've seen in the area. Um, I have my bird feeder out, and I get to see all these amazing birds in the area come to it all the time. And so that's a great inspiration. Nature here is just tremendously gorgeous. Um, you know, I love my Ohio too, but this is so much different. And so just got some ideas to do that and submit those. So I'm gonna work on those um today, actually.
So I finally have a day where I didn't have um a dance lesson because I am taking line dancing, I didn't have knitting, I didn't have counseling, I didn't have a house to go look at, I didn't have a job to apply to. So it's kind of like a little bit of downtime today. And um gonna use that to be creative. I've got some sewing to do. Um, so I have this painting and mixed media to do. I already did some drawing this morning. I have a um Halloween scene matte release this week. So every day this week I'm releasing a new design based on a nostalgic like movie or show that, you know, everybody's attached to for Halloween. And so I don't like put the name of the show or anything in it, and I've kind of turned it into like a little mahjong-y thing. I did that for the Christmas ones. I did Christmas movies and some of the lines I made them into like mahjong, and they were really funny, but um just little little nods to some of the favorites and uh put those out there. Um, but uh yeah, I just I think it's fun to reminisce about stuff that means something to you and uh share that because it probably means something to someone else. I've seen some artists do some beautiful um like holiday paintings based on those movies, and I thought I could do that with my mahjong mats and you know, kind of give the same nod to um things that make me happy because maybe that will make somebody else happy. So um, yeah, so I put those out there uh and every day this week, starting on the first, and I'm gonna try to do it through the seventh. So there'll be different ones. I think I may have a couple extra, so it may go a little longer, but it's a it's a neat thing to release. And then um, you know, they're they're out there for this month. Um, my manufacturer for the US, they got so many orders, they had to like stop production, and so they're not going to start producing again for uh a week or two. So uh those will start back up in the middle of October. So that's amazing that they were they were not expecting the orders that they received. It I had you know a lot of orders, and it was um a blessing. It it has been a blessing that the online stuff has done well for me and kept me going. So I appreciate it immensely because um that's just been my focus. It's what I've been, you know, relying on right now. Um so I appreciate it so, so much. Um, and I love the support of that community. I'm gonna meet a gal for coffee next week that um very strange ties. I saw a location, uh a gal showed me a place, got to talking what I do, told her about the mahjong stuff. Her best friend does mahjong. Her best friend happened to follow me on Instagram and then realized I was the person her best friend was talking about and reached out to me, and I figured out the connection too. So we're meeting up for coffee. Um just amazing, amazing how that world. When I was in Hawaii, that happened, and now here, just you know, casually talking about stuff. It's just um such a small world, but I just love that that community is helping me connect. I'm I'm excited to get to offer uh playing at the um senior center in November and December. Um yeah, I just very, very excited about being able to share that and how that has turned into just something I did not expect for this year.
A lot of unexpected things this year. Horrible and hopeful. How can those two words that begin with the letter H go hand in hand? And that's pretty much where my life is right now. I've got this horrible grief, but I've got this hopefulness that I can get through it and find my way through it and navigate through it and be strong. Um, and my art is helping me do that. I create with a lot of love and brightness, and I need to get a couple days in of just creating with the anger. Uh, my therapist wants me to. I did one little like watercolor thing, but I really can't wait to get settled so I can get all my supplies out and I can just like go out and do that because I haven't been able to do that. I don't have everything right now, and um it's just just very hard in this space, and I really want the opportunity to um just be more expressive, and I um hope that that will help even more with my healing. Um, and it's just really important to me to work through it all. It's you know, a lifetime. This is this is amazing to me to realize that I am not the same person that I was at on May 12th. It's a whole different perspective. And um yeah, it's uh it's one of the things that I struggle with with my art. And I know art is healing, and um I want it to be, you know, I desperately want it to be healing for me, and I want it to be joyful again, and um, yeah, I'm just trying to find those outlets so I can make that happen and be encouraging to others. Um I really feel like that is part of my life, is that you know, getting to work with other people. I I do enjoy that, and um what one way or another, I'm gonna figure out how to do it again. I just don't know what it is right now, but I'm getting there.
So um thanks for being with me on this journey and listening and um follow my social media so I can show you what I'm creating through uh this, especially today. I have some clothes I want to make. I'm looking at all the piles of things that I've got started here so I can um take things apart and uh kind of make some some stuff for myself. So I know like what two weeks ago I made like four coats in one week. So I've got some pants I want to do, and yeah, so but keep creating, keep finding encouragement, don't carry the heavy stuff alone. And I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear on a creative podcast, but you're helping me unload this so I'm not just unloading to my kids. Um and you know, my therapist who's trying to help me through it. Sometimes it's just great to talk and know that you're heard. You don't really need somebody to tell you what to do. Not that, you know, she does that or my group therapy does that, they're all just listening, but um there's something very soothing about just being able to talk it out, saying it out loud. Um I have manifestations all over the house right now. My second oldest daughter is very heavy into that, and she is very good at it, and so I'm trying to emulate her and have those out there in the world. I read them out loud when I walk by them, they're all over, so there's a different one in all these different locations, but just to remind myself that this is all within me to do, and so I've got to depend on that. So take care, have a wonderful weekend, happy October, and I will see you next time. Bye.
