When Your Therapist Says Paint The Rage

I walk out of a therapy session and into a deceptively beautiful afternoon, then try something that honestly scares me: creating art from anger. Not “channel it into productivity,” not “turn it into positivity” just letting it exist on the canvas and seeing what shows up. If you’ve ever felt numb, cracked open, or like your world lost its grounding, you’ll recognize the tension between what the day looks like on the outside and what grief feels like on the inside.

As I paint, I talk through what I’m seeing and what I’m struggling to say: heaviness, darkness, blue, and that sense of bleeding out emotionally. I also notice the parts that won’t fully disappear, even when they’re overshadowed: little flowers that feel like my girls, a few stars that hint at dreams, and light that keeps trying to break through. It’s an honest look at art therapy in real time, using the creative process to hold trauma, grief, and anger without forcing a neat story.

I also share a reflection on my first group therapy session and the strange comfort of finding people who can relate, even when the shared experience is heartbreaking. If you’re searching for grief support, coping tools, or a way to process big feelings through creativity, this is a gentle push to try making something imperfect and true. Listen, then subscribe, share with someone who might need it, and leave a review. What do you see in the painting, and have you ever created something while grieving?

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Outside After Therapy

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey, it's Tracy. Um, brutally. Uh Brutifully made. I am outside right now and you can see Thor sitting in the sunlight. I think the high today is 67 here. And it's just a really pretty afternoon.

Challenged To Create With Anger

SPEAKER_00 0:22

I just had my online um therapy session. So I'm outside and was challenged by her to create with the anger that I'm feeling, which I have never done. I don't know really how to create with anger. So I thought I would try that and bring you along with that process today and uh see how it goes. So uh we'll see what comes out of a little bit of a smaller painting. But um yeah, had my first group therapy session last night and uh it's a sad world that we have uh people that can relate to what we're going through when it's this traumatic and sad. But it was uh interesting and I uh am grateful for their uh support and acceptance. So yeah, just thought I would uh preface what today is um gonna cover and uh share with you a little art. So we'll see how it goes.

Painting Through Grief And Shock

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Not sure what any of that means. Maybe this is me. I'm trying to grow out of all this. I feel really dead inside. I feel like I'm bleeding to death. It's supposed to be bright and colorful, and it's trying to pop out, and it's not working. Trying to build out of all of this grief. There's some hope. There's some light. Is overshadowing it, and it just kind of cracked my world. Everything that grounded me. It's on this side. Maybe these are my girls. These are the brightness and things that are sustaining me. My babies are here, bright little flowers. Still very overshadowed, but there's some stars in the sky, some hope, some dreams that are there. That light's trying to pop through. Maybe. What do you see in this? A lot of black, a lot of heaviness, a lot of blue. I don't know.

What The Colors Reveal

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Interesting exercise to just sit down and try to create something with my heart being so heavy and not focusing on something so bright and force and cheerfulness. But maybe I'll try it again. Anyway, there it is.

Sharing The First Grief Creation

SPEAKER_00 4:38

My first grief creation. Have you ever created something in grief? Share it with me if you have.